


My Sister Laughed Like the Rain

by Tresapes



Category: Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Universe, Gen, No Incest, Platonic Relationships, but there's lots of angst before the ending ok?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:21:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 10,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21653662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tresapes/pseuds/Tresapes
Summary: Anna loved her big sister with all of her heart. Elsa was courage and love and infinite kindness, even when it looked like she wasn't.
Relationships: Anna & Elsa (Disney)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 131





	1. Giving Up My Everything

The little princess was happily roaming the halls of the castle. A blur of red hair and a dash of petticoats. Normally that would elicit a smile from the onlookers, the child's laughter carrying down the long, lonely rooms. 

The Queen found her after a couple of hours. She was hiding in the gallery room. Anna's eyes grew large and round as she shushed her mother. 

"Anna! What are you doing here?" 

"I'm playing hide and go seek mama!" 

The Queen's look was dubious, at best. "Really? That's good sweetheart but, who are you playing with?" 

Anna rolled her eyes, exaggerated. "Elsa of course?" 

A shadow grew on her mother's face. "Elsa? Elsa is playing with you?" 

"Mama, who else would play with me in here, you're all so old, and she's my sister!" 

Queen Iduna exhaled. She gathered her daughter in her arms. "Where is she now Anna?" 

"Well, she's looking for me. Don't tell her I'm here, ok?" 

"Anna, dearest, Elsa is not here. She's in the library, studying, with her tutor." 

"No! She was just here, she was with me. We are playing hide and go seek, and my sister is out there looking for me. And she will find me, I know she will, stop ruining it! You're ruining everything!" 

* * *

You would think that after so many years spent mostly appart, Anna would have forgotten all about Elsa. 

Elsa is her big sister. And even though Anna barely ever sees her anymore she'd have you know that for as long as they were together, Elsa was the best big sister in the whole wide world. It has been a long time, Anna's heart bears the separation like a constant ache. Some days it's dull, barely there, others it's all she can feel. The human heart is a cruel trickster. They say it's common for people separated from someone they love to keep seeing that loved one amongst strangers. But Anna never saw any strangers either. So Elsa appeared in other places. In paintings. In the flowers right under her window. How could she not? Those primroses, white as snow, would remind her of nothing but her sister.

So she went out, whenever she could, and gathered some, for Elsa. Sometimes she just left them at her door without a word, others she would pluck the little flowers and make a crown. 

It was never there when she returned. She never knew if Elsa took them, or if a servant threw them away. But she kept leaving them there. Hanging from Elsa's doorknob, a tiny offering. A promise of spring.

* * *

_"Elsa... I know it's a... Long, long time from now but, you wouldn't... forget about me when you're Queen, would you?"_

_"Anna! Of course I won't forget about you, how could I? You will be right there with me won't you?"_

_"Everybody says I'm a klutz... And, I don't like studying, like you do. I draw snowmen in my workbooks and the teacher gets mad at me..."_

_"Don't listen to them... I love your snowmen Anna! They are colourful, and wonderful and... Really happy! I can't draw like you do. And well... I do get distracted too, when I study... Sometimes."_

_"Really?!"_

_"Yes. And you know what... Can you keep a secret?"_

_"Of course I can! I'll keep all your secrets Elsa, promise!"_

_"Ok... Well, yesterday I... I was tired, and I wanted to come with you and play, so... I iced the door in the teacher's study and locked him in. It took them hours to try and find the key and by the time they did, the ice had melted, and he just looked silly, locked in an unlocked room!"_

_"Wow Elsa that is amazing! Is that how we managed to play on a Monday?"_

_"Yup"_

_"Do it again!"_

* * *

"Mama, can I come in?" 

"Anna, darling what's the matter?" 

"I had a bad dream..." 

"Oh my darling I'm sorry." 

It was harder to climb into her parent's bed. For one thing, their room was so far away. Everything was so far away these days. For another thing, it all looked so... Proper. Not a hair out of place. It just wasn't _right_ _._ Or what she needed. 

Her mother would take her back to her own bed. 

"Would you like me to sing you a lullaby?" 

"Sure, ok..." Then her mother would hold her, and start to sing as she normally did. But it wasn't right. Nothing about this was right. Anna would grow rigid, and she would cry. 

"What's wrong sweetheart?" 

"You're not singing it right..." 

"Ok, why don't you teach me how to sing it right?" 

"... I don't want to. It's not right. I want Elsa. Why can't Elsa sing it to me?" 

* * *

"Elsa? Elsa please? Can you... Just knock on the door once? You're still there, right? I didn't make you up? They haven't taken you away right? I thought I saw you, down the hallway, on my way to the library, 18 days ago. Was that you?"

* * *

"You know your sister is dead right?" 

"Shut up!" 

"That's what everybody says. They say she died and that it wasn't good, and that the palace is keeping it secret." 

"I said shut up! My sister is not dead!" 

Her fists came hard and fast when they did. She tackled him to the ground and lost count of how many punches she landed on his body. The other boys had to wrestle her away from him. 

"You animal! Look at my clothes! Is this how your sister died beast? 

Now they were holding her and she was outnumbered. The tears wouldn't stop running down her face. 

_Oh Elsa, how can you leave me alone like this?_ Then it was like magic. _Snowballs_. Actual snowballs crushed in their faces. Snowballs. In August. They kept raining down on them until they run off screaming. 

That was the last time Council Members were allowed to bring their families along when visiting. Originally, the King and Queen thought it would be good for Anna. As if a bunch of spoiled brats could ever fill the cavern left behind by Elsa's absence.

* * *

Elsa wasn't like other sibling. She didn't pull mean pranks, or run off and leave Anna behind. Elsa was a warm hand in hers holding on tight and guiding, making sure she was steady. She was a hug in the dark that kept her safe. Elsa was sweet lullabies during stormy nights. The voice that taught her things that were interesting and helpful. Elsa meant Anna was always the priority. First to have a piece of chocolate cake. First to land a hit during a snowball fight. First to protect if the other kids were gaining an advantage on them. 

But most of all, Elsa meant not being alone. 

After she was pulled away from her, after Anna's heart was broken into millions of pieces, Elsa was a phantom limb. A point of reference, for every single thing. A constant in the back of her mind that tingled her brain and made her heart ache. Elsa would have loved this, Elsa would have laughed at that. _Elsa, look here!_

A look over the shoulder to confirm, Elsa wasn't there. 

* * *

"Father! I have really good news!" 

"Good news, that's a first Anna." 

"Dad, I'm serious, listen!" 

Her father smiled kindly at her. He lifted his hands as a sign of surrender and closed his book. "Ok, alright, I'm listening, tell me your good news." 

"So, my teachers have been telling me that I have really, really improved with my classes!" 

"Anna! That is really good news! So you're enjoying your lessons now, your days with studying and... Talking to Joan?" 

Anna rolled her eyes "First of all, I talk _with_ Joan, thank you very much. And second of all... Well, it's not my favourite thing in the world but I am getting better at it and dad, I was thinking..." Anna hesitated. _This was it, the moment of truth. Her heart was beating so fast but it was worth it, so worth it! She had worn herself thin, she worked so hard_ _._

She took a deep breath. "Dad I was thinking that, since I'm getting so good with my lessons and, oh, and it's my birthday next week, remember?! Maybe you don't, anyway, it doesn't matter- I was just wondering... Well, what I wanted to ask you was, if it would it be possible... I mean, would it be too much... For me to share some lessons with Elsa?" Anna practically exhaled that last part and looked at her father as pleadingly as possible.

"Anna..." 

"Dad please! I promise I will work so hard, harder than now! I won't hold her back. I know she studies a lot, I know she has a duty, I know dad! I won't be talking, during class at all. It will be like I'm not there, I'll just... Be in the same room... With my big sister. Just a few hours in the week, is that too much to ask?" 

Her father stood from his desk and walked around it, now kneeling down to her level. His sad eyes gave her his answer before his words delivered the blow. 

"Anna... We've talked about this. Extensively. You have your own responsibilities, and Elsa has hers. Trust me. I promise you, it's for the best-" 

"But dad, please let me-" 

"Anna, that's enough. You need to understand and accept this. Both me, and your mother, believe it is best for both of you to follow separate paths from now on." 

Anna's eyes grew huge and filled with tears. _There was no air, where did all the air go?_

"What?!" 

Her father stood tall now, his face dark. "Anna I'm sorry. I won't change my mind. Your sister is performing admirably and if you care about her so much, you should follow her example, be a good girl, and do as you're told. It's for your own good." 

He turned to leave as Anna fell to the floor, her legs couldn't hold her up any more. _No wait! This can't be it, this isn't the end of us, I know it, I know it in my heart that this isn't right. We're supposed to be together. I promised I'd be by her side, I did_ _!_

Anna stood on trembling legs. She bumped on her father's retreating figure, grabbing on to his trousers with both hands. She fell, hugged his legs tightly, not letting him go. Her voice was coming out as a wail, a plea. 

"Dad please... Please! You can't do this! I'm not asking for much here-" 

"Anna stop this at once! This is unseemly behaviour! Is this how you were going to spend time with your sister? Such childishness is not befitting of your life anymore, grow up, do as you're told and you'll see, someday it will all work out. Maybe you can't understand it now but please, trust me, this is the best option we have." 

Anna was out of words. Her breath was coming out in short gasps. Her father left her there, alone with her thoughts. How could she trust him when his better option left her without words, without thoughts, or dreams, but with an endless supply of tears.

* * *

That night in father's study was the last straw. 

Anna observed. She visited her sister often in the past, but now she stopped standing outside her door. Instead, she hid around corners and looked through half closed doors. Her mother would walk past Elsa's room and just look at the door with infinite sadness. Then she would take a deep breath and walk ahead. Sometimes, but rarely, she would talk with Elsa through the door, but that was it most days. Servants would leave everything outside of Elsa's door, like she did. Then her sister would open the door as little as possible. She would look around so scared, like a thief in the dead of the night. She'd grab the tray and take it inside. 

Breakfast. Lunch. Dinner. The castle would look for Anna when she didn't show up during meals. She'd drop by the kitchen just so they knew she was alive. She would eat and go back to her post. She lived like a wild child, hiding around the castle, for two weeks. 

Two weeks of observation was all she could take. Elsa only left her room for her lessons. Elsa didn't get bedtime stories any more. Nobody sang to get her to sleep on stormy nights. Nobody held her to keep her safe. 

There was only one explanation. Elsa was being punished. And Anna was suddenly filled with a new anger, incandescent and bright. 

Anna tried to rescue her sister, she really did. She thought of it like a fairy tale, because otherwise it was too scary. Elsa was a princess locked away in a castle. Obviously, she needed rescuing! But Anna couldn't really do it alone. She read all the stories in the library and she knew what her sister needed. A knight in shining armour. So Anna gathered all her most precious treasures. A month's worth of deserts, all of her candies, her favourite dolls, and she went from guard to guard with the same practised speech "Excuse me kind sir, would you be interested in a noble quest? My sister has been locked away and is in need of rescuing, I can pay you for your services!". That lasted a day. 

That night her father wouldn't rest until she was found and properly chastised for her behaviour. He had a serious talk with her about her place in the family, her reckless behaviour, her refusal to grow up and causing trouble for everyone, including the castle staff, who are only trying to do their jobs Anna, you are not to trouble them with your silliness anymore. 

But Anna wouldn't have it. They wanted her grown up. The fear in her sister's eyes, eyes she hadn't seen in years and had never appeared so empty and worn before, was a sight that made Anna feel old and tired. 

When she finally spoke, her voice was hard and resolute.

"I would have gone to you but you're useless! You're the ogre that locked Elsa away in the first place! Why, why did you lock my sister away?! What did she do to you?! How bad can it have been?! She's only a few years older than me, so it can't be too bad, but it's been so long! Too long! I couldn't remember what my sister looks like, even if I did, she probably doesn't look the same any more! Years have passed! Years! I hate you! All of you! I hate you and I would run away, far away, but I can't leave her here with you!" 

Her father's face turned a shade of red she hadn't seen since she and Elsa broke that big vase in the gallery with all the pretty flowers on it, but even that wasn't enough to stop Anna now that she had started. 

"Please, spare me your explanations. She's studying. Sure enough, I know that. But that's no excuse for, for... For locking her in a room and only leaving her out for work! Leading her around like a dog on a leash! Grandpa used to let prisoners out to work in the fields, and you keep my sister locked in like the worlds worst criminal!" 

Her father tried again to get a word through to her but Anna wouldn't have it. The time for explanations had run out, now it would only be yelling matches. Anna would go to war for Elsa. 

"So what if you're angry, you think I care? What worse can you do to me? Lock me away as well? Fine, go ahead, see if I care. Every night I cry myself to sleep and you don't care. And you don't care about her either, I watch, I know nobody ever even visits her, not really. You're monsters, you're all monsters!"

* * *

Eventually, they wore her down. Anna's heart was too loving to hold on to anger and hatred anyway. Her mother visited her in her room while she was grounded every day. She coaxed complacency from her with hugs and kind words. Her father apologised, not for his decisions, but for his tone. Nothing would change, that's what she understood. 

_"Elsa's not locked away, Elsa is our daughter just like you are"_

_"We love her very much and we're doing what's best for the both of you"_

_"Have patience dear"_

Anna was tired and sad instead of angry now. It was a sadness that didn't seem to go away. She couldn't visit her sister's door anymore, she could feel her pain now and it was too much, and Anna was just a little girl who's best wasn't good enough. That's when the flower crowns started coming. She would find one, hanging on her doorknob every morning. Bright crystallised primroses that glowed in the sun, and brought the light back in her heart. 

_I see you Elsa. I won't let go. One day, we'll be together again._

* * *

There was a box in Anna's room, deep in her wardrobe, with trinkets. _Things Elsa Left Behind_. It wasn't anything big, Anna wasn't robbing her sister. It was the little things. Anything, really, that let Anna look at her sister and keep her, any part of her. A note for homework scribbled and then discarded. A candy wrapper (Elsa still liked salted caramel truffes; some things just don't change). On bad days, when Anna felt like she was the last person in the whole wide world she would hide in her wardrobe and open the box and remind herself that there is someone in this very castle who is a part of her. Who wears blue ribbons in her hair and carries dried lavender in her books. 

* * *

> _In pictures of us together,_  
>  _she is always looking ahead,_  
>  _and I am always looking at her.”_  
>  _― Jandy Nelson, The Sky Is Everywhere_


	2. She Loved Her Like Breathing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elsa has lots of memories from when Anna was still a baby. She doesn’t know if it’s her powers, or the many stories her parents have told her about that time, but she still has an image in her mind of Anna as a tiny baby that her mother placed in her arms, cocooned in blankets and love.

Elsa stood on shaky legs. The ice on the floorboards was constantly crunching under her feet these days. She hadn’t had a moment of peace in so long. The bad days were longer now. Not that she was keeping track. She couldn’t really, the pain numbs everything, especially the passage of time. 

She missed the sunlight again today. She didn’t manage to get out of bed. Being tangled in the sheets meant she was still in one piece after all. She let her head fall against the window frame and was grateful for the coolness of it against her skin. The solidness of it, the texture. It felt real. _One more day that I’m alive_. 

Winter afternoons are endless when you spend them alone, caged within the same four walls for years. She was mostly numb to the pain by now. It wasn’t there every day, only on the bad ones. It’s just that the bad ones outnumbered the good ones by a lot lately. Right now, it was a constant trumping through her body but... She couldn’t feel it anymore, not really. But still, there was an unanswered question there, the same one she had been asking herself for the longest time. 

_What if it happens now? What if I just... Burst into pieces? Mother will find me tomorrow... Bloodied icicles plunged into her perfect walls. Sorry mama, I tried but... It ended up killing me from the inside. The beast within is stretching and scratching at me. I'm worn thin. Maybe it will get out this time..._

A hard pang against her stomach sent her crashing against the glass. She tried to breathe deeply, like her father instructed her. It just hurt so bad today. There was solid ice on everything she touched, roughly formed and aggressive. She opened her eyes and looked at the courtyard. It looked so easy. Too easy to just... Open that window and fly into the night sky. 

Elsa thought of it often. How the cool breeze would take away her tears. How her arms could open up and hug the ground she hadn’t felt under her feet in years. Only one person held her back. The same person that was now sitting outside her door begging her to _please, come outside with me just for a moment, a second. Please Elsa, please, it’s empty and lonely without you_. Elsa had cried for her sister as much as she had cried for herself. Seems like they were both having one of their bad days today. 

She was already the worst big sister in the world, had been for quite some time. But as she looked down to the ground with something akin to longing, she already knew she couldn’t do it. That last betrayal, no. It would be unforgivable. Not to her sweet little Anna. 

So, she survived through the good days and prayed through the bad ones. 

Another burst against her ribs. _Oh God please, not now!_

“Go away Anna!” 

* * *

_“Lift me up, I wanna see!”_  
  
_“Anna hush! They will hear us!”_  
  
_Elsa almost laughed at her sister. Jumping up and down with excitement, her eyes were huge as she lifted up her arms for Elsa. She grabbed hold of her and after some struggling, managed to hoist the little girl up on her shoulders._

_There was a party going on in their mother’s private garden. There were guards everywhere but the girls managed to sneak out. The wall separating the garden from the courtyard wasn’t too tall, but the girls couldn’t reach it just yet._

_“Anna grab the ledge!”_

_“I’m trying !”_

_Elsa rolled her eyes and smiled mischievously at her sister. “You know, you’re getting pretty big now and I might drop you”_

_“No Elsa, no! Just a moment... Ok, got it!”_

_Elsa was a bit unsure, what if Anna fell? “Are you sure?”_  
  
_“Yes!”_

_“Ok, hold on”_

_Elsa pushed up with as much strength as she could and held on to her sister, until Anna managed to get her legs on the edge and craw on top of the wall._  
  
_“Oh, Elsa it looks so pretty!”_  
  
_“Yeah? What do you see?!”_

_“There are so many people! I have never seen that many people in my entire life.”_

_“What are they doing?”_

_“Just talking. But oh look! There is so much food !” Anna’s head poked out from the edge towards her, the little girl almost falling over in her excitement to share the news with her sister._

_“Be careful Anna!” Elsa rolled her eyes at her sister again. “And besides, how can I look from down here? There’s a reason you’re the one on top of the wall.”_

_Anna pouted. “Yeah... I still don’t understand why you don’t just... Make a snow stool so you can come up here?”_

_Elsa shook her head sadly. “Anna no. Mum and dad said no powers outside. What if somebody sees?”_

_Anna rolled her eyes “Adults are silly. So, what if someone sees? They might get a little jealous, their sisters don’t have magic, but they’ll get over it. Wait! There’s music, can you hear it? Oooh they’re dancing!”_  
  
_Elsa’s smile grew at that. “Really?! How are they dancing!”_

_“In pairs! They have so many pret-”_

_Elsa waited for her sister to finish her sentence. “Anna?”_  
  
_“Shush, someone’s coming!”_

_Elsa got worried. She lifted her arms up and whispered to her sister “Anna! Come down from there!”_

_Anna whispered back. “No, it’s fine, they’ll go away!”_  
  
_Elsa shook her head “What if they don’t? We’ll be grounded for a month! Come down now!”_

_“Oh, come on! 5 more minutes?”_

_“Anna!”_

_“Ok...”_

_Anna sat on her side of the wall and jumped straight into her sister’s arms. Both girls fell down on the grass and rolled away with a yelp._

_Elsa got up first. She took hold of her sister’s hand and helped her up. “You ok?”_

_Anna’s smile had grown even more from all the excitement. “Yup!”_

_“Ok, let’s go!”_

_Hand in hand they run down the length of the wall, back into the castle and sneaked into their room._

_As they lay in Elsa’s bed, Anna described what she had seen as well as a five-year-old could. “And there was a chocolate fountain! And a band! And all the women had pretty dresses and all the men were very tall!”_

_Elsa smiled sleepily “I wish I had seen it.”_

_Anna nodded, and then turned to her sister “Do you think they’ll ever let us go to a party?”_

_“Not anytime soon I’m afraid. Unless you finally learn how to eat without ending up wearing your food.”_

_“Hey! It’s not my fault Cook is so good; I just get excited.”_

_Elsa laughed and cuddled her sister close “So what would you like to do at a party?”_

_“Eat lots of chocolate. And dance with a handsome prince and then get married and have babies and then we’d all live together!”_

_“I don't think you can do all that at the party.”_

_“Of course not, don’t be silly. But we’d all live together, and eat ice cream every day. And we could play in the snow whenever we want!”_

_The girl’s eyes were growing heavy with sleep, but she held on to ask her sister one last question. “What about you Elsie? What would you do at the party?”_

_Elsa was more thoughtful “I don’t know... I’d love to see a chocolate fountain. But I think, when I’m at a party they’ll just make me do the boring stuff. Talk to people and make... treaties and things like that. But I’d still take that over meeting princes, yuck .”_

_“What’s wrong with princes?” Anna asked._

_“It’s not all like you read in stories Anna. I’m the heir , it’s not like they’re going to let me choose whom I marry.”_

_“What?! They can’t do that!”_

_“Yes, they can. Dad already talked to me about it...”_

_“But that’s not fair! What if you don’t like them? What if they’re... Boring? Or really old?”_

_Anna was now looking at her with a worried expression, her eye round and big, and so very sad. Elsa felt bad for her baby sister, and wanted to make it all better. She hugged the little girl tight. “Don’t worry Anna. I’ll be Queen someday , so if you wait, I’ll make sure you can marry whoever you want. But I’ll have to like them too. I can’t have a brother I don’t like.”_

_“But you don’t like people easy Elsa.”_

_“Yup, so you’ll have to choose well. For both of us.”_

* * *

A reader lives a thousand lives and Elsa has set out to live forever. Writers take her hand and lead her out of her cage. Epicurus gives her hope for the future, and Socrates gives her the tools to seize it. She knows father doesn’t approve of all her reading material. Elsa is breaking all traditional forms of education. _Yes papa, girls don’t normally quote Lucretius but if I am to rule this nation one_ _day_ _I need both my eyes wide open_ . The fact that without the words of great authors her mind might not survive her time spent detained is something she decided to keep from him, for her own good. Besides, Elsa is still young, not a child anymore but certainly not an adult yet, and still, she wonders sometimes about her parents. _Is all this for my benefit, or theirs? Are they worried about me, or are they ashamed? Do they fear for, or of me? How am I supposed to be trained to rule this nation when I can’t even walk among my people?_

Being unable to answer any of these questions, Elsa decided to keep silent. For now. _There’s no point in doubting an existing strategy unless you have a better offer. Otherwise you’ll simply make others question you, and where would that get her?_

She heard some shuffling outside her door.   
  
“Elsa?”   
  
_Oh, is it morning already?_ “Good morning mother.” 

“Good morning my dear. How did you sleep?” 

Elsa smiles sadly at that. Sleep is not a commodity in general, but within these walls, it’s a gift. “I slept quite well mother, thank you. I simply started the day early, that is all. So many things to do.” 

“Of course, dear. Do have some breakfast, I’ll ask the kitchen to deliver it now if that’s alright with you.” Her mother’s words are proper and stiff, but her voice is soft, and caring. 

“Thank you, mama, that would be lovely.” 

Elsa thought her mother had more to say, but the other side of the door was silent. “Mother, is something troubling you?” 

“I... Elsa, I need to ask you, there isn’t... What I mean is, you haven’t seen... Or spoken to Anna, have you? She’s not in there with you, is she?” 

_Anna?!_   
  
Elsa shook her head in confusion and shock. “What?! No, of course I haven’t seen Anna.” _These last few years._ “And no, she’s not here, why would she be?” 

“Don’t worry yourself child. I think she’s simply... Hiding around the castle. People see her of course, she raids the kitchen often enough. I simply wanted to make sure she’s not... Hiding anywhere, in your room.” 

_Trust me mother, we would have all heard the screams of terror if Anna had been anywhere in my room lately. Is this why she hasn't been around? I thought she had finally given up on me..._

Elsa could feel the frost on her fingertips, she was getting upset. She thought there were people outside these doors taking care of her sister. “No, Anna is definitely not in here. How exactly did... The palace lose a 9 year old?” 

_Her birthday was a couple of weeks ago... Maybe that’s why she’s upset, poor Anna..._ Elsa had of course missed Anna's birthday, but she hadn’t forgotten. Not that anybody she knew celebrated birthdays anymore. Still, Anna had actually visited her, as she always did on both their birthdays, and she had whispered her sister all the good wishes she could think of, while she was sitting on the other side of the door that day. When the clock had hit 12 that night, she sang happy birthday Anna under her breath. Not much of a birthday but, that’s all she could do for her sister. _Pathetic, I am_ _pathetic._

“She’s not lost she’s just upset. Her and your father had an argument a short while ago and well... I’m sure it will all work out, don’t you worry, alright?” 

Elsa’s brows were furrowed. _Don’t worry about Anna? I might as well stop making everything freeze around me while I’m at it._

“Sure mama, everything will be fine.” 

“I’ll send for your breakfast dear. Oh and... Sir Dagfinn will be here for your lessons at 9 o’clock sharp today.” 

“Yes, that’s fine, I’ve prepared everything.” She had been looking forward to her algebra lessons but now it was irrelevant. All she could think of was that she was absent when her sister clearly needed her. 

She was sure she could hear her mother’s smile as she said the next words before she walked away. 

“Good girl.” 

Elsa waited until she could no longer hear her mother’s footsteps. Her hands were trembling but she willed them to stop. _Ok, this is dangerous. But so is ignoring it and... I can’t go out there I can’t! But if I don’t, and they don’t find her soon it will be... So bad and I’ll lose it again. No, I have to find her, make sure she’s alright._

She had her breakfast in a rush and started getting dressed for the day. If she were to find her sister before her lessons, she had to be fast. She wore one of her simplest blue dresses that reached the middle of her calf and had tiny yellow crocuses around the hem. She strapped on a black bodice and secured her hair in a tight bun with a blue ribbon. 

Elsa opened the door of her room quietly and looked around. Nobody was there. She walked soundlessly down the corridor and soon found her way outside the main building. 

_It’s winter. There are only two places where Anna might be. Either the kitchen, or outside. My sister loves the snow... It’s still snowing and she’s not allowed to leave the gardens. Plus they can’t find her so she’s not in the kitchen right now, which means she grabbed breakfast from Cook and headed for the stables. Honestly, that wasn’t that hard was it?_

Elsa made her way to the stables and sure enough, she could hear Anna’s voice she was just- _crying._ Her baby sister was crying. Elsa’s features tightened, the frown a permanent fixture on her face, as she stepped carefully closer to the stall her sister was currently in. 

“...And then... And then he said, he said that we’ll never... That we won’t be together again, ever! I mean... Those weren’t his exact words but, that’s what he meant, right? Do you think I understood it wrong? I mean, he would have explained if that wasn’t what he meant. Maybe I am just not smart enough to take lessons with Elsa and he didn’t want to tell me and hurt my feelings. But saying I’ll never see her again was somehow better?! Kjekk, you have to promise not to tell anyone, but we will break her out, ok? We’ll break Elsa out and you can take us somewhere far away... Wait, is that frost in your stall?!” 

That broke Elsa out of her miserable state and she looked down. Indeed. There were frozen tear tracks on her cheeks and the wall she was leaning against was covered in frost. She rushed out as fast as her legs would take her. 

* * *

_Knock, knock_

“Enter.” Her father sounded tired.

Elsa took a deep breath. Her eyes hurt. She had been trying hard not to cry. Her fists hadn’t unclenched since her mother’s visit, she hadn’t stopped shaking since she heard Anna’s words and she had been counting her breaths all day. All in all, she was in a dreadful state. God knows how she got through her lessons. Her shaky fingers turned the doorknob. 

“H-hello father” _Why_ did her voice have to _tremble_ ? Some _monarch_ she will be... _For once, just this once hold it together. It’s for Anna!_

“Elsa?!” Her father instantly dropped his pen and came around his desk, although he didn’t get close to her. He stood tall across from her and spoke fast “Is everything all right? Was something amiss during your lessons?” 

“No, n-nothing of the kind... Mother told me... About Anna...” 

Her father closed his eyes tiredly and pinched his nose before responding to her “That’s not something you should worry about Elsa. You have other issues to occupy yourself with. Your sister is simply throwing a tantrum, it will pass.” 

_Hardly, father._ “I... Are you certain? Because Anna is... Not usually like that. Not that I would necessarily know but... Usually tantrums don’t last for weeks, do they?” 

Her father shook his head “Well there’s nothing we can do but wait it out.” 

Elsa persisted. “Are you sure? Mama made it sound like she was pretty upset, perhaps, if you spoke to her... Or... I-I could!”   
  
Her father instantly straightened up even more at that. Elsa couldn’t contain her flinch. Was it really that criminal to speak with her sister? She wouldn’t trust herself to be in the same room but surely, a chat through a door or “I’m not saying I should see her just... Write her a letter or-”   
  
“No, Elsa. I don’t think that’s what Anna needs. She’s spoiled enough as it is. Please. Don’t worry about any of this, your mother and I will handle it. Now, get back to your rooms, I need you to rest dear girl because we need to get through a lot of work tomorrow, you’ll be spending time with me and learning about our trading systems, yes? 

Elsa knew when her time was up “Yes father, of course. Thank you for your time.” 

* * *

Only when her head finally hit her pillow that night did Elsa allow the tears to flow freely. Her baby sister had more strength and courage than _she_ ever could. Couldn’t even talk to her father without trembling. Anna stood up to their parents for _her_ , because she thought Elsa needed it. But what did Elsa ever do for her? Couldn’t even get her a present for her birthday. She hadn’t been able to hold it together then, couldn’t even open the door, the whole room had been frozen solid. 

_It’s still not too late. Maybe... Maybe you can make her something. There must be something in this room that can be a present._

She got up and out of bed and started searching. “Something besides books you ninny... Right. Not much besides books in here...” 

She searched and mumbled to herself while she trashed her bedroom once again, but even hours later, there was nothing. She slid to the floor, her back against her bed. _Hold it together just this once in your miserable life there must be something, something you are missing!_ And there was. Anna saved the day again. There, on the floor in front of her desk was a book that had fallen open, a dried primrose marking her page. Elsa held it in trembling hands and laughed through the tears. She held it close to her heart and for once let the ice flow through her fingers. It was terrifying but... If it worked it would be worth it. _Please let it work, let me have this, just this, a small gift for my baby sister._ When she opened her eyes there it was, like a wish that had just come true. 

“I need more flowers”. 

* * *

_“Papa, what if the baby doesn’t like me?” A young Elsa rested in her father’s arms, and asked him a question that had worried her heart for a while._

_Her father smiled kindly and kissed her hair “Of course the baby will like you! You will be his, or hers, big sister! That’s very important Elsa, you will be there for them, when they need help, won’t you?”_

_“Yes papa! I can do it. I can help the baby!”_

* * *

_Her mother looked tired but her smile was so bright “Come closer Elsa, she won’t bite”_   
  
_Elsa practically leapt on the bed from joy. “She?! I have a baby_ _sister_ _?!”_

_“Yes, and she’s waiting to meet you so come here, hold your arms like this” her father instructed her from her mother’s side_   
  
_Elsa straightened up and tried to look serious. I’m a big sister, I help the baby. She followed her dad’s instructions and there she was, her little sister, a tiny face cocooned in blankets._

_Elsa held on to her tight, smiling wide “Look mama, papa, I’m holding the baby!”_

_Both her parents laughed at that and looked at her with kindness._

_“Her name is Anna, Elsa” said her mother._

_“Oh, hi Anna! I’m your big sister Elsa.”_

_Anna opened her eyes, just a little bit, and for a moment they looked at each other._ _Nothing will ever happen to you,_ _Elsa thought. And maybe Anna understood, because she slept for the very first time, and it was in her sister’s arms._

* * *

_“Go on Anna, go to papa” Her mother was holding Anna upright, and trying to coax her to walk._

_“No Anna, come here, I’m right here!” Elsa said from the other side of the room._

_Her mother’s face was a mixture of laughter and outrage “Elsa! Go sit with your father, she can walk to both of you.”_

_Her father was in front of his desk, finding it all very entertaining._

_“Nope. Anna will come to me, see? Anna, look here!” Elsa moved her hands and a tiny cloud appeared on the ceiling over her head, letting snowflakes dance around her._

_“Elsa!” Her mother exclaimed_

_But Elsa’s magic had the effect she was looking for. Anna giggled and practically leapt out of their mother’s arms, toddling her way towards her big sister. Elsa opened her arms and grabbed her before she fell against her legs, lifting her up and twirling her around the snow, making her giggles even louder. She hugged Anna close and turned to both their parents who were looking at them with_ _fondness_ _._

_“See?! I told you!”_

* * *

> “There once was a girl who found herself dead.   
>  She peered over the ledge of heaven   
>  and saw that back on earth   
>  her sister missed her too much,   
>  was way too sad,   
>  so she crossed some paths   
>  that would not have been crossed otherwise 
> 
> **Jandy Nelson,** [ **The Sky Is Everywhere** ](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/6798696)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> Here's another stand-alone chapter for this story. Elsa and Anna probably have one of the best sibling dynamics I've seen on screen so I'll keep writing about them for a while longer than I expected. 
> 
> I hope you'll like Elsa's side of the story. Kudos and comments brighten my day and really work wonders for inspiration xo


	3. A Piece Of Earth That's Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A long, long time later she stares down at the silent courtyard and thinks of her sister, as she will at every important moment of her life. So much has happen, she thinks, that I would want to tell you.

"You asked to see me father?”

Her father looked up from his desk and smiled at her kindly “Anna, good to see you dear.”

She took that as encouragement enough and sat down on one of the chairs in front of his desk. Her father dropped his pen and sat up, going around his desk to sit in a chair across from her. He looked directly at her, a smile still on his face before he spoke “We haven’t really... Seen much of each other, have we?”

Anna smiled back “It’s alright, I know you’re very busy. I can’t imagine having to go through half the meetings Kai drags you to, every day.”

The King shook his head “It’s not all bad. Elsa has been coming along with me to some of them, these last couple of months. That was a joy, to finally have one of you there with me.”

Anna perked up at the mention of her sister. “Really? That is wonderful then. Is she- does she enjoy being there as well?”

Her father looks away from her then “I should hope so, it will be her job, some day.”

Anna nods, looking in the distance as well now “Sure.”

The King turns back to her “Anna, I actually asked you here to talk about  _ you _ today.”

“Me?” Anna was confused.

“Yes. I’ve been... Worrying. Well, I always worry but, I’ve been wondering about  _ your _ plans. What do you wish to do?”

Anna is even more confused by that. “What do you mean? What do I wish to do with what?”

Her father laughs kindly. “Your life dear! Your education is coming along, I know you don’t necessarily enjoy it. But there’s only so much tutoring can do without a direction. What do you hope to do, in the future?”

Anna’s brow furrows. She doesn’t understand the meaning of this conversation and tells her father so. “I don’t understand, I always thought -I assumed-, that I was supposed to, you know, be the spare, support Elsa.”

The King is serious when he replies to her “You have never been a  _ spare _ Anna. Me and your mother always hoped you’d be happy. And have a good life. We’ve been trying hard for both of you, to have the best life we could offer.”

Anna shrugs at that “I never said you wanted a  _ bad _ life for me. But it doesn’t matter, this is where I want to be anyway, what I want to do. I haven’t actually done any work with you... Or Elsa. I... You never let us, me and Elsa, speak to each other, so I don’t know what I might be able to do for her but, whatever it is, I’m sure I’ll figure it out, when the time comes.”

Her father nods along. “Yes, of course, I understand but, what if I told you, you have more options than that?”

“Options? Like what?”

“Well, instead of being here and supporting Elsa you could, do something different, to support the kingdom.”

Anna couldn’t for the life of her understand. “Support the kingdom how?”

“Well, I’ve been speaking to your uncle, King …, and he and your aunt and cousin would be happy to have you visit and stay with them, in Corona, and train in diplomacy in their court. You could... Become an ambassador. For Arendelle.”

“Go to Corona? Why? I don’t know anything about being an ambassador, if I learned more about it  perhaps, I’d enjoy it. But I don’t understand why I’d have to go all the way to Corona when we have a court right here.”

“Well, you know we haven’t held an open court in many years-” her father tried to explain what he thought was obvious.

“That’s not something written in stone I imagine.”

“No. It isn’t. But it is not going to change any time soon.”

Anna was getting upset,  _ where is he going with this? _ “Well. I don’t see what you need ambassadors for, if we’re not to ever entertain foreign contacts in our court.”

Father, whose temper she shared, was also getting upset. “Don’t pretend to be foolish Anna we’ve raised you better than that. You know very well ambassadors work often outside their own kingdoms.”

“... You want me to go away?”

Her father backtracked fast. “No, I said no such thing.”

Her heart faltered at the thought, but she had to ask. She had been wanting to ask for a long time, but never had the courage. “... Does Elsa want me to go away?”

Her father shook his head “Your sister has told me nothing of the kind.”

Anna’s eyes flashed then. “Then I’ll stay right here.” Fear gave way to anger. “What exactly was your plan with this? You’re saying I should be an ambassador to help Elsa. So, you’re planning for a future where you will no longer be with us, that would include me as well being out of the country and leaving my only sister alone to rule. Without any family or friends, or even a court of people capable of offering... Well, anything!”

Her father exhaled loudly. “I didn’t say it was a perfect solution but-”

Anna stood up now. She wouldn’t hear any more of this. “Solution to what? Is there a problem I am not aware of? Are you saying the reality we’ve been living in for the past, oh I don’t know, 9 years or so, is anything other than completely normal and absolutely fine?”

Her father was quiet and wouldn’t look at her.  _ It’s fine, I’m not known for following protocol anyway. _ Anna turned around and stomped to the door before her father’s voice stopped her. “You act as if you don’t understand that these past few years have been hard on all of us, not just you. I still wish you would also understand that we’re doing the best we can. I’m offering you an opportunity, to have a life that will be different, closer to what you hoped for.”

Anna’s shoulders dropped. _ It’s not me who doesn’t understand, father _ . “What do you know about the kind of life I hoped for? When does anybody in this castle ask me what I  _ want _ ? I’ve been telling you, all of you, for many years, but it seems you’re not listening to me. All I want is to live in my home, with my family. With my sister. I want to be able to share our home with other people. I don’t see how... Getting shipped off to Corona will get me any of that.”

Her father nodded, very solemnly. “I’ve always told you to hope for the best. I know what you want. But if what you want wasn’t an option, wouldn’t you hope for something different? Something that would change your life?”

* * *

_ Elsa. Please be well. I’ve thought of writing to you for some time. I saw you the other day. A glimpse really. It’s been a long time since we’ve been anything other than a childhood memory to each other. Elsa... I don’t want you to just be a childhood memory. I don’t know... Maybe I shouldn’t care anymore, but I do. My head is telling me to take this opportunity, it’s telling me I can always come back, but my heart breaks at the idea so... I don’t know. _

* * *

_ “ _ _ Elsa _ _ we need to talk about the future.” _

_ “We won’t always be here and well, you need to make some decisions” _

_ “Elsa you must remember, no one must ever learn your secret. They will fear you; the Council will overthrow  _ _ you; _ _ the Kingdom will be in peril.” _

She’s heard it all. All of the reasons why she stays here. All the reasons why she’s pushed everyone out. All the reasons why she hates herself. At this point she feels like there are layers and layers of lies, of pain and of horrors between what other people see when they look at her, and what she knows to be herself. Somewhere in there lays a monster and a girl. And after all this time, they’re not that different from each other, Elsa thinks, and that’s the worst part. _ You know father, you try to think of solutions to what you call problems but honestly, the only solution I see is getting rid of me. Maybe you do still love me. In spite of everything _ . Her inner monologue doesn’t stop her from listening intently to her father.

“...  So we considered another alternative. Anna will go to Corona.”

Elsa’s eyes widen, the only physical reaction to  this news . “What?!”

Her father shook his head. “Elsa, you need to be able to move more freely in the castle. You’re always so tense, you need to be able to meet with me more often, with our advisors. You’re not just training to run the country anymore you need to create good working relationships with these people, get to know them. If you’re always worried about Anna, and I know you are, we’re not making enough progress.”

Elsa tightened her fists. She couldn’t drop the subject this time. She set the matter of Anna moving,  _ leaving _ , aside for now, and then with all the grace she could manage she straightened her back before replying. “You are wrong.”

Her father drew back, shocked “Excuse me?”

“Father, be serious. Do you honestly believe I’ll be any more comfortable around strangers just because Anna is not somewhere around? Let’s face the truth, I can’t deal with people. I don’t know how! It’s not just that I’m always worried someone might, shock me or, or I might get frightened and react... Badly. It’s been such a long time since I had to socialise I- I wouldn’t know... How to talk with them.”

Her father looked at her sadly and stepped forward “Elsa this is exactly why you need to learn.”

Elsa shook her head this time “It’s not going to work, I- I can’t do it.”

“Elsa it’s not an option. You don’t get a choice on this; you have a duty towards this kingdom. I thought you wanted to make the right choice for our people.”

It was time, Elsa had to do it now, she finally asked her father a question she had been meaning to ask him for the longest time “I  _ do  _ want to make the right choice! So, I’m asking you, is the right choice for our people  _ me _ ? Is an unstable and dangerous Queen what our people need?!”

“Is that how you see yourself? As unstable and dangerous?”

“Isn’t that how  _ you _ see me? Why else am I in this room always? Why do I hurt the people I love? I’m barely in control of myself most of the time. I spend so many days barely surviving, barely going through the motions just struggling, don’t let it out, don’t feel. Imagine if all the days, the months, all the times I had to stay in bed and not move because not moving was all I could manage, had been spent doing something  _ good _ , something productive for our people. Walking among them, listening to them, trying to be of some use, _ any  _ use.”

Her father wasn’t replying. Elsa took a deep breath and closed her eyes, allowing a few tears to escape, letting them take the sadness out, hopefully quieting the demon within. “I don’t even understand why you insist on me being the heir. Why not just- Why not tell them I died? They are all thinking it anyway. There’s still Anna, she’s young, and she’s smart, she can learn to be Queen.”

She said that very quietly, and didn’t dare look at her father. He stood there, not replying for what felt like ages. “Is that really what you want daughter? Is that really what you think? Do you really think being a ruler is all about socialising? Being nice and friendly for the court? After all these years of fighting, are you willing to give up? Even more than that, knowing what you know about  ruling , the  _ limited _ knowledge you think you have, would you burden your sister with the throne?”

Elsa had no reply to that. She couldn’t reply.

Her father was much too calm for this discussion. “Here’s how I see it. I see a young woman making an effort. Doing the  best she can. I see you have good intentions. You are a _ good _ person Elsa. I’m not saying it will be easy, because it won’t, but both me and your mother think you can do this. We think you were made for this. But you need to keep trying.”

_ What about Anna?  _ Asked the voice in the back of her mind.

Her father gave her the answer “As for Anna, we put the matter of her moving up to her. Please don’t stress yourself about it dear. It will be good for her, she’s much too coddled in here.

_ You don’t understand. If she leaves, she’ll never come back. If she sees how life can be outside these walls, she’ll forget all about me. I know it will be good for her, so I’ll be strong, I won’t say anything, not a thing, but she is all I have and well... I hoped I’d get the chance to hold her hand again and help her up when she’d fall. I hoped I’d get to drag her to another adventure. I had my someday dad. Now I only have memories. _

* * *

_ Elsa I just wanted you to know. I still think of you. Every day at breakfast. It’s all so proper. But maybe it would be proper either way. You’re the heir after all, I’m sure they’re pressuring you to always behave much more than they are pressuring me but, the two of us together, maybe a smile over porridge could be a shared secret. Or perhaps not; I wouldn’t know anymore. _

_ It’s unfair some days that even though I never see you, in my mind you’re still here. Not just in memory, all those happy days of a shared childhood, as much of it as we were allowed to have anyway. It’s the presence of another person that understands. The isolation, the loneliness, the longing for someone to share a secret with. You understand, right? _

* * *

_ “Ok so, I’ll tell you my favourite sweet, and then you’ll tell me your favourite sweet, and then we have to sneak into the kitchen and grab one of each!” _

_ Elsa rolled her eyes at her sister. It was late. She was tired. But Anna was sitting on her with a determined look on her face and a huge smile. She couldn’t help herself and smiled back. “First of all, I already know your favourite sweet.” _

_ Anna looked at her dubiously. “Oh yeah? What’s that?” _

_ Elsa looked at her sister with fake distain “hazelnut chocolate mousse”. _

_ Anna’s eyes shone “Yes! How did you know?” _

_ “Because I’m  _ _ always _ _ sneaking it out of the kitchen for you after our naps silly!” _

_ “Oh yeah... Still, something else could have been my favourite.” _

_ “Sure.” _

_ “ _ _ Oh, _ _ come on Elsa! I’m so hungry I might  _ _ die _ _ before breakfast!” _

_ Elsa huffed “Stop being so dramatic.” _

_ “ _ _ Pleasepleaseplease _ _ ” _

_ It was a losing battle. She had to learn how to say no. “Fine. But you stay here ok?” _

_ “I can’t let you go alone! What if someone catches you?!” _

_ “Well, they’ll just catch me and not both of us. So, you stay here, and then you can come rescue me if I get caught, deal?” _

_ “Deal!” _

* * *

_Elsa, I’ll tell you my secret and I trust that you will keep it. Every day that I go to sleep, I dream of a place. I think... You and me, on an adventure. We’re in a clearing in a forest and we’re playing in the snow. Like we did when we were kids but different. This time we’re older and we’re making snow angels and things, but mostly we talk. We watch the stars and exist in the moment. Together. Then I wake up and I’m all alone. But if I light a candle, I look at my braid and- did you know I have a tuft of hair the exact same colour as yours? To me, that just means we really are a part of each other. Sisters. You’re still with me, in a small way._

_The other day, father asked me if I wished to travel. He could send me to live with our cousins, he said. For a short time at least. I guess I could go but... Can I leave you here... Alone? Am I really with you, sitting around and just existing in the same space?_

* * *

“Elsa!”

“Anna! What... I-I mean, why are you here?”

“I... I was...” _ Mum and dad are in the study with the Council. I locked all the service doors so no one could interrupt us, and then I waited, hiding down the corridor. I waited to hear your door creaking open. _ “Well to be honest I was hiding from Mr Gorm –most boring history tutor that has ever existed by the way- but, oh it doesn’t even matter, oh Elsa you’re here, I haven’t seen you in so long I-”

Anna reached out, both arms wide open, the expectation clear that she would finally hug her sister after all this time. But Elsa stepped back.

“Anna no!”

“What... What’s wrong?” Anna tried hard to keep the hurt from her voice.

Elsa turned away partially, her arms hugging herself as she spoke softly. “I... I-I have... I’m sick. I don’t want anything to- I don’t want you to... Get sick as well.”

Anna felt hurt, a bit. But she saw how Elsa held herself. Literally, held herself. And so, Anna spared a thought for her sister. Her very secluded, very lonely sister who never even took her gloves off. Anna took a step back and smiled, with all the love she could muster.

“Ok, that’s ok Elsa, just... Are you- How- How are you?”

Elsa looked at her, Elsa, her sister was looking at her. And she smiled. “I... Well other than being... Sick... I’m  ok I guess. How- How about  _ you _ ?”

Anna tried hard not to cry but she could feel the tears forming in the corners of her eyes.  _ How could she ever leave? _ “I’m better. Much better now actually.”

Elsa seemed worried at that. “Why what’s wrong? Are you hurt?”

Anna rushed to reassure her. “No, I’m perfectly fine! I just meant... Elsa there’s so, so much I’d like to talk to you about-”

Elsa interjected. “I know. Anna I...” She seemed to lose her words at that “... It’s been so long and, you’re so  _ grown _ I can’t believe it. I actually- there was something I wanted to talk to you about as well.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “You wanted to talk to  _ me _ ?! Whatever for? Never mind, it doesn’t matter, tell me, please, anything you need.”

Elsa seemed to hesitate. But she took a deep breath and spoke, without looking directly at her. “I... Father told me... Of what he told you and- Anna I... I don’t want you to feel...  _ Pressured _ . To do anything, either way. I don’t want you to feel like, like you need to make a decision for the sake of anyone but yourself ok?”

Elsa looked up and Anna knew now, why she couldn’t look at her. Elsa’s eyes were also filling with tears. “I just want you to know, that no matter what you choose I... I won’t hold it against you ok? If you decide to... I just want you to be happy and if it’s not here then, in any place you can find, any piece of earth you can claim as your own I want it to be yours just... Know that, that you will always belong here. If that’s what you want, ok?”

Then her sister cleaned the tears out of her eyes with an expertise Anna would never master and before Anna could even get her heart to stop trying to beat itself out of her chest, before she even came close to saying  _ I love you too sis _ , Elsa had run away.

* * *

_Elsa, I decided, today actually, that I won’t go. Father is not happy but I don’t remember him ever being happy with me so, it doesn’t make much of a difference, I’m used to being the disappointing daughter. I won’t give up on my dream Elsa. I want my sister back. I don’t know why this has happened. If our parents really think I would be so bad for you, or we’d be such a terror together, or that I’d take up so much of your time._

_I’m used to the absence of you, but I still have hope while I’m here. So, I’ll stay. I’ll stay until you’re Queen, then it will be up to you, your choice, for once. I’ll have to wait to actually find out because we both know I can’t give this letter to you so, until then Elsie_

_Love always_

_Anna_

* * *

> _“I wish the night would end,  
>  I wish the day'd begin,  
> I wish it would rain or snow,  
> or the wind would blow,  
> or the grass would grow,  
> I wish I had yesterday,  
> I wish there were games to play...”  
> ― V.C. Andrews, [Flowers in the Attic](https://www.goodreads.com/work/quotes/3311885)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> Wow, honestly, this was a hard one. The angst is going on for much longer than I anticipated. Mostly because those 13 years between their childhoods and the coronation day are just begging to have stories written about them. No matter what the parents were thinking, those girls went through a lot, and it's amazing how much more their bond to each other evolves, the more I stick with what they went through. Next chapter will be after the shipwreck though so, be warned!
> 
> Thank you for all your comments and kudos btw. I love reading them and it's always a great way to get the story going!!  
> xo


End file.
